Saturday 1st November 2008

Feeling a bit down, today. Always David! (and Thomas!). Please God? can I have an extra lease on life so I can watch over them? Or maybe you could send a little bit of luck his way, for a change?

When Thomas is here, I look at him, laying there in the cot. It takes me back years, to the first time we brought David home from hospital. Its exactly the same feeling. (Only David had breathing difficulties - silly little sod never tried breathing through his mouth - I must have had more near heart-attacks in the first week he was home than any cardiac unit). Ah, Judith, he's such a LOVELY little boy. Why didn't you talk to us. Why didn't you just hold on a little longer. Why didn't we open our stupid mouths! You'd be proud of him, luv - you really would. He sleeps all night, grins all day, and copes with everything this madhouse of a home throws at him without even blinking.

Life can be real cruel :(

Accckk!!

Beautiful day, today, but COLD! Had the whole family here, as usual. And as usual TOTAL bedlam. Things getting broken, kids into EVERYTHING. I need eyes in the back of my head! One bright spot - Kate, who previously had been 'strange' (meaning distrustful of faces she did not see every day) has finally decided I am one of the good guys. She insisted on holding my hand, or on being lifted by me. Its quite flattering :) The down side is.....Daniel is almost schizophrenic about it. If I go near Thomas, or now Kate, he's THERE, demanding attention. Kids....who'd want them, who'd want to be without them?

Another good thing - Nell baked some more apple pies. Well, you just KNOW they disappeared in double quick time. Only **I** made sure I got my share, this time What a pity halloween only comes around once a year! Thats a bit unfair really.....takes time to do baking like that, and when you are being the stand-in Mum, you don't have the TIME.

So here I am, on a saturday night.....bored to a wrinkle! TV is crap, as usual, and the people I talk to online are.....not online . I need another hobby! (or work?). Maybe I'll go watch some of the stuff I have recorded, just to clear that hard disk. Its getting a bit full :) Watched 'MAN ON FIRE' (which I had recorded) last night - excellent movie. If a bit on the long side :)


I got this collar thing for one of the dogs. Its supposed to stop them barking, which was a problem since my milkman arrives in the middle of the night! The idea is, it sounds a tone at the first bark, then gives the dog a little jolt if the barking continues. Well, I was both dubious and sceptical. Dubious because I just CANNOT be unkind to dogs....and sceptical as to whether it actually worked. Still, I had to do something. My next door neighbour went so far as to mention to me that she heard the dogs barking in the middle of the night. Ha!....she should be in HERE! SO!....on went the collar. First day?...nada, zilch. I had it too loose or his fur is too thick or something. Tightened the collar a little bit....and to my amazement it seems to work!! Patches barks once....hears the warning tone, and subsides. I just KNOW he hates me . Once he gets the idea firmly embedded, the collar moves to Mo.....


I really DO talk a lot of shit here, don't I? Drivel, really. Hey kids, when you read this, consider whats going on in the background, right? Baring your soul really is not that easy, so learn to read between lines, ok? I love you all, each and every one - as well as the progeny from hell that you have all spawned

(I didn't really mean that last ).