Monday 29th December 2008

Not much to say (again!). One little snippet is.... Yesterday, David and his friends had organised a cooking competition. They do this kind of thing every few months - the last one was for Lasagne. This one was different, this one was on MY turf.....curries :).

So....I am thinking, SHEESH, this is gonna be a walkover :). First you have to define what a curry actually IS. And its all things to all people...from a mildly spiced stew to something that raises the hairs on the back of your neck. Well, to me, curry means HOT. Hell, its MEANT to be spicy!! A curry is something you and your mates desire after a night in the pub, makes ya sweat a lot, gives you the hiccups, makes your eyes water, and lets you crap through the eye of a needle while sitting on a hot poker (ok, that was a bit crude.....but I couldn't resist :) ).

I also have to point out that one of David's friends is a professional chef!!

Sooo....saturday evening, there I am, chopping and stirring and all the prep work ya do. I am thinking.....this one is gonna be PERFECT! (My curries tend to be a bit ad-hoc - just usually whatever is available ). Now the ESSENCE of a curry is LONG and SLOW cooking so all the bits come together. Well MINE cooked all night (in that magical slow cooker), VERY slowly :). By Sunday afternoon, I was all set to go, while David is still destroying my kitchen (he's the messiest cook I ever met, and I have a THING about clearing up stuff as you go along ).

Finally all is ready....and off he goes bearing HIS contribution, and mine.


At NINE o'clock that night, I still had not heard!! The plonker was supposed to ring me with the results, only got waylaid with Thomas and stuff. Eventually I found out I came second.....beaten by (you guessed it) the professional chef. There's no justice in this world :). (I was all ready to copyright the bloody recipe, too!).


Ah well...............may all those BIASED people get Delhi Belly!! :).

Saturday 27th December 2008 - more

I meant to add...yesterday, Boxing day, I got to visit (online-wise) with a very old dear friend in Texas, who was having HER family to visit. So I got to see them all (I've met them all before, but this year the kids are much more aware, if you see what I mean.........it was just good to see them all. Sorta makes 22 Charing Cross Road look a bit Victorian, don't it :).

Saturday, 27th December 2008

Well now!....dust has settled on Christmas so mebbe time for some natter....


So .... 'the arm' (I should really do that bit in capitals!)

Went to my appointment on 22nd, expecting to HAVE an MRI. How stupid was that? I arrive at the outpatients with a good 15 minutes to spare (in case you've forgotten, the appointment was for 8pm). I thought I had arrived in a ghost town! There was NO one to be seen anywhere, not even to ask for directions. ANYONE could be getting away with murder! But eventually I found the right place (he said, skimming over the bit where he was getting madder and madder by the minute). Nice little asian nurse, with the BROADEST Belfast accent you ever heard, smiled at my moans, took my details, then showed me to a cubicle. Right on the dot of 8pm, in comes the consultant. Shakes my hand, exchanges a few pleasantries, then starts grilling me on the history of 'the arm'. After that comes the prodding and poking and banging with those little rubber hammer things doctors delight in. Honest to God...within about 4 minutes from the start, he sits back and says, 'Right, I have my diagnosis - you have a nerve trapped by the 6th cervical'....(and at this stage i LOSE it.....he's asian and I am struggling to follow his accent). But hold on a minute here!!...I knew I had a trapped nerve...I'm supposed to be here for a bloody MRI !!! Doctor then goes on to lay out options, all two of them. All these TWO options, naturally, follow on from MORE tests - by which he means a REAL MRI instead of the con trick this one turned out to be :). Options are, steroid injections or an operation. Discussions will follow on results of tests. .....yeah, ok, whatever you say..... Its only BEEN a year already!


Christmas. Well what can I say? Started the day with my nose kind of out of joint because this is the first year not cooking dinner and having the family HERE.......and ended the day quite getting into this 'no work' stuff . So there I sat....on the sofa being harrassed by kidlings....and with one eye watching Simon and Claire dash around like blue-assed flies trying to get everything prepared and on time etc etc, as ya do....and naturally with a nice glass of sherry in my hand (twas a wee bit early for the brandy ). The more frantic things got in the kitchen, the more laid back I got about it all, thinking to myself, 'hey, I can live with this' . The kids were GREAT! As you would expect......all excited about what Santa had brought them, all wound up about all that was going on around them, all the company...just FUN. Did I mention they had a captive audience?....me?

There is a little aside to all this. Previously, when my Mum and Dad were alive but getting on in years, and everyone came HERE for Christmas, I would take little video's of things that were going on. Right there, in MOST of the little video's, is my Dad, sitting on the sofa, just looking round and smiling at the antics of kids. The thought suddenly struck me............I am my Dad all over again! Now thats SCARY!!

As for the meal?...well,son, if you ever get to read this...........work on your veggies . Apart from that, it was perfect! (and by the way, the dogs thought so too )

A further addendum to all this Christmas meal stuff. Later on, David, (who had obviously been mulling this over in his head) mooted the idea that next year HE should play host. Well...bring it on!!

Sadurday 20th December 2008

OK.........its been too long since I done anything here. Mainly because to me it seems nothing happens worth writing about. However.......gotta write something :)


On the techie front (always a good place to start). I was wandering around Tesco's the other day, looking for inspiration (as ya do).....and I find a webcam on sale for a mere £5. Now given that my own webcam, which cost me a bloody FORTUNE when I got it, seems now to be on its last legs, this was a no brainer. Installed FINE on XP....got a pic and everything, though I have not had a chance yet to try it out with a third party. THEN I dual booted Vista. Nightmare!!! First, because I really don't LIKE Vista, it had been a while since I booted it - and naturally there is a TON of updates to be done. So I let it get on with it. ONly.....it seemed like after every update, I had to reboot. Guys, this is a LOT of rebooting!! Well finally I get to the point where I think all this nonsense is finished, so I can now try installing the new cam. Guess what?....more rebooting. BUT.....not without some trouble I finally get it installed.......only to be told I need to reboot again. So I do. Then what?...now that I got VISTA all patched up etc etc ad bloody nauseum, the bloody thing THEN tells me its got ANOTHER update...only this time its a service pack. I bow to the inevitable, and let it go ahead. (keep in mind this is all just to install a cheapo webcam!!) WELL!!...the FINAL tally was a good EIGHT hours of patching and installing before I could even get to look at the cam to see if it worked. (It did ) No wonder Vista gets slated........that amount of time before you can actually DO anything is just plain ridiculous!
On a kind of parallel note, the OLD webcam is now moved over to Linux....and works. Admittedly there were a FEW issues (still is), but in general its fine (apart from the crappy picture it now puts out that makes me look like I just overdosed on carrot juice after being locked in a tanning booth )

The foundling. Well......he now has FOUR teeth.....and is practicing like mad with them :) He's into chewing everything he can get his hands on. Including any flesh that wanders his way :) He's also finding his legs. He's got a baby walker thing, and he's tickled pink with himself that he can (a) stand up in it and (b) make the damn thing move (backwards only, at the moment ) He's a perfect little delight.....always GRINNING!! I think he and Daniel are going to be mates...... I had to borrow Joanne's digital vid cam to try keeping up with all this development, and now I need to get it all burnt on to a DVD. Getting it shrunk enough to share on the internet is also now a bit of a problem.......I'm running out of disk space! Do I hear shopping trip being muttered in the background here??

Monday coming, I have my appointment for an MRI on my neck/shoulder. At 8pm! I really now don't expect much to come of it all, after talking a lot with DR Stu about what is possible and what is NOT possible. Ah well....maybe I can become ambidextrous :) Its the STUPID little things that get me!....like just buttoning a shirt when you can't FEEL the damn buttons!!


aaaccckk!!...now I'm angry with myself!!

Monday 1st December 2008


Time for some kind of update, I suppose, though I have no idea about WHAT! So..herewith me rambling :).

Things now is in a kind of flux (re Thomas). With David being mobile again, he's able to go straight home from work and get the place warmed up. The obvious corollary is, we have been seeing less of David. No doubt things will settle down into some kind of routine, but at the moment its a bit 'suck it and see'. Still, there have been no major disasters, so thats gotta be a good thing.

Its been one of them days where the sun shines BRIGHT, yet its bloody freezing outside, and the frost in the shadows never melts. Quite perfect weather for walking :). So we did. Nell pushed the pram with Thomas, and I pushed the buggy with Daniel, and we took off down the towpath. Loaded with stale bread, I might add :) . Ducks and swans got fed, Daniel thoroughly enjoying that, and Thomas, with his little bright enquiring eyes looking at everything. Well....he got a wee bit fractious towards the end, but it WAS past his feed time, so that was forgivable :). It also knocked Daniel out - when ya gotta sleep, ya gotta sleep :). Was good :).

New flat screen monitor is now in place, and the omens are favourable. Things look good at the bigger resolution now possible. I should have bought one of these things ages ago! I like it :).

Also on the techie front? The fancy DVD recorder that Joanne bought me last Christmas has been being put through its paces. Not, of course, without a few glitches (and coasters!) along the way. I had saved all kinds of stuff on the sky+ box, and I was running out of space, so it was time for some burning. Ever tried reading a manual with one hand while spoonfeeding a baby with the other? Its quite difficult :). Now, of course, I need to resupply my stock of DVD's - did I mention I made a few mistakes along the way? :). Keeping up with technology just gets more difficult by the day!

What else? Joanne. Dr Stu had one of them fancy Iphone things (the original version), which was freely updated for him to the latest version. Joanne then got his OLD one, which she promptly managed (after a few weeks use) completely knacker. Daughter, is it any wonder I send you back to the shops to deal with stuff like this? The OLD one was still in warranty, so she complains. Then follows all the 'returns' crap that you have to go through. The bottom line is, tonight, right in the middle of zoo time known as dinner, UPS arrives with a parcel. When Joanne arrives, and the parcel is opened, what is inside? You probably guessed....a brand new MK 2 Iphone. Does the expression 'falling in shit and smelling like a rose' mean anything?

enough for now....maybe when I have a couple of brandies, I'll add :).

25th November 2008

...and really the 24th November, since I have not been to bed yet :).


OK...some updates. David has FINALLY bought a car. Nine month old VECTRA, which he picks up Thursday. In the meantime, they actually LENT him a car. I found that a wee bit strange, but who am I to argue? He's mobile as of now. I think he's quite pleased with it....I know WE are quite pleased . Meanwhile, being as he is mobile, he's been driving around the country like a mad thing, visiting EVERYONE! As a little example, he went to visit Nell's brother, Billy. Now, its probably been 4 years since he SEEN Billy, but is that a deterrent? He also learned a little lesson - always carry a spare set of EVERYTHING in the car. Apparently Thomas had an 'episode' whilst there, which entailed him borrowing some of Billy's g/kids clothes. In other words, there was shit EVERYWHERE :). He'll learn .

Today, I had to go register Jude's death. I had assumed, from the phone call I got, that they now had all the details to hand, from the Coroners report. Bad mistake! I was asked questions like, Jude's date of birth?....her maiden name? (of COURSE I knew it...I just could not SPELL it!!). All the stupid little details!! Like 'Where did she die?'............well how in hell do you say 'in a car in an abandoned garage' ??? Anyway...its done. I now have the death certificates in my hand, and now the REAL work starts, like sorting out the mortgage and benefits etc. The Registrar was a very sympathetic lady....I guess she has to be. Still, it was a very uncomfortable time for me, trying to answer all those questions.

Now that David is mobile again, he went straight home from work. He needs to.....the house is COLD and he needs to get a fire going and heating on, for us delivering Thomas. So by the time Nell took Thomas out there, there was a fire going in the hearth, and heating going. That has to MEAN something? Like, 'hi son....lets get you bathed' without freezeing the lil mite :).

Meanwhile, I spent that time while Thomas was being delivered bloody IRONING!! I had to - I'd run out of shirts . Still....I caught up on some recorded tv programs while doing it :). Once, I'd have spent my evening romping around the internet......now I iron. A poem occurs to me, a few lines of which are:

And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings,
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."

......now THAT just TOTALLY encapsulates the changes in my life :). Where once I roamed free and untrammelled, now I am a footnote :).


Kids? I miss my friends. Will-o-the-wisps in cyberspace they might be, but nevertheless, they were (ARE!) real to me. You lot never quite got your head round that, did you :). You can keep your 'facebooks' and 'friends reunited' and MODERN stuff like that.......I far outdated you :) (HEY!...how ABOUT that!.......the oul' fella was actually quite hip . ).

SO.....on to tomorrow (actually today!). I get my usual sticking plaster again (Daniel). I might actually get my new monitor too (its in the post). I am quite looking forward to that because I have lusted after a flat screen for AGES! Its a 19".......it woulda been a 22" only I had my doubts that I could actually get something that big to SIT up here :). You can just BET that with Daniel stuck to me, I won't get a chance to FIDDLE with the damn thing!!! .

ah well........

enough for the noo

Wednesday 19th November 2008

Things happening. I had a phone call today from the Registrar (of Births, Deaths, and Marriages). A nice, very sympathetic lady. To tell me they had recieved all the relevant information from the Coroners Office, and that Jude's death can now be officially recorded and death certificates issued. She asked if I would be the one doing it, or David. Well, I had to talk to David about it, naturally. He wants me to do it. I can understand that - especially since while talking to her she mentioned that she REMEMBERED David and Judith registering Thomas' birth. Everything is still so RAW! Even perfect strangers feel the need to say something!

So, in the next few days I have to pay a visit to her office. What I still have to find out is just how many copies of the death certificate I need. Insurance companies....pension funds...they all need a copy, and these things are £6 each. Strange, that even dying costs money.

As for today?.....Daniel was being a perfect little SOD! By the time Joanne came to collect the kids, I was worn out. Not PHYSICALLY worn out - mentally! They leave, and blessed silence ensues. And if Nell is off driving David and Thomas home, well, I turn off the TV, and put a CD in the player. Nothing like a bit of classical music, or opera, along with a glass of wine to help unwind :). Not that I can play it for long...........it goes off as soon as Nell returns :).

I really AM a bit concerned about Joanne's kids. Wild animals, the bunch of them! Not being the parent, I naturally have to sort of keep my distance, but I know if they were mine, there'd be an accounting :). They don't know (or won't) eat at the table, they regularly use 'no!' when they don't want to do something, they throw tantrums, scream, kick stuff.............and I just get madder and madder. This is NOT the way to bring up children! Then, of course, when I finally DO lose my temper and start to enforce some discipline, I am immediately in the wrong. Its starting to lead to friction in this house. Perhaps I am partly to blame for not speaking up sooner or laying down the law when they were younger (and by that I mean as regards that arch-spoiler of kids, Nell). I do know that its not going to happen again, with Thomas. This time, I WILL have my say, AND my way.

Hmm....right ole curmudgeon, ain't I :).

Bit annoyed, also, that since my circumstances have changed so drastically, I am losing touch with people I really value. OK, so they are mostly online folk - but all of them I consider genuine friends. (Come ON kids!!....keep up!). But its the nature of 'online' that 'offline' is starting to mean 'out of sight, out of mind'. I don't want that....I somehow have to find the time to keep those contacts up.

ok...enough for now.... More soon on the great car hunt, and the registration thing, and the tree thing (which Joanne is dealing with). Its never dull around here :).

Sunday 16th November 2008

Well, things appear to be moving at last. Spoke to a VERY nice lady in the Coroner's Office, mainly to let them know the family voted for no public inquest, but also to mention that we had not yet heard anything about the Health Authority's internal enquiry. She was right on the ball with that one....apparently the Coroner HAS recieved a copy of the report, so really now IS in possession of all the facts. Said report is in the process of being sent out to the family, so I expect to see it soon. However, because we dispensed with the public inquest, that nice lady made things HAPPEN. Proper death certificates will be issued soonest, but she must have done a lot more, because David got a call from Jude's workplace telling him that funds that had been held up because of all this legal crap, had now been released to his account. Specifically, Widow and Dependants benefits (or widower), and backpaid. Thank goodness!! Helping him out was KILLING us.

Sooo...David is now actively hunting for a car. And I do mean ACTIVELY. It's the one single thing that would help most around here, him being mobile again. Now that things are moving, maybe we can get the life insurance / mortgage thing sorted out. THAT would be a tremendous help to him, money wise. I am desperate that he hangs on to his house, especially in the current economic climate. He'd never be able to afford a new house on his own if he lost this one because of not being able to pay the mortgage.

All in all, things are starting to pick up. I am SO pleased about that!!

On to other things. Still LOVING the slow cooker.......that thing is pure bloody magic! Not only because things come out tasting so good, but also because it relieves the CONGESTION that happened around dinner time, here. The period from (say) 4pm to 6pm, when we would normally have been struggling to prepare a dinner AND deal with kidlings was always a fraught time :). Plus, I can now cook Kleftico and it comes out somewhere near like it should .

Thought for the day. Disappointment is picking a nice big fat garlic clove, peeling it........and then finding its nothing but a lot of LITTLE cloves. Man, that really pisses me off

Onward and upward....

Wednesday 12th November 2008

Well....I survived Tuesday and 'lunch' again. Barely. Met with Ramsay and Alan in the usual watering hole, had a very long lingering lunch well lubricated with wine. Kind of odd, that.....over the years we've moved away from beer to wine. It might have something to do with the absolutely RIDICULOUS price of a pint - or maybe we are all getting a bit more mellow in our dotage :). Ramsay, the only one of us still having to work, was one very pissed off guy. Seems BT are now messing around with their pensions (no idea how - I'm immune and therefore deaf to changes ). He can't WAIT now to qualify to leave, and there was no one more committed to the company. Sad to see what a few eager-beaver ladder-climbers can do to a great institution.

However, I made it home under my own steam. Didn't even need an escort to the station . Of course, having MADE it home, I promptly fell asleep. Its a good job these 'lunches' only happen 3 or 4 times a year - my liver is delicate enough as it is :). As a little aside, David DROVE me to the lunch. Now its been almost 6 months since I have been to Belfast, and thank God I don't have to do it every day still. Between all the new changes to the roads (ongoing) and all the changes to traffic systems IN Belfast, I really don't think I could hack all that driving. I was only the passenger, and it scared ME!! Thank heavens for free travel passes :).

Back to normality today, though. Young Thomas seems now to be recovering. No longer running that ferocious temperature, cough diminished, and he actually managed a smile or three. Rebeckah also recovered, and back at school, but still looks to me very pale and shakey. We are keeping Thomas again, tonight, just to make sure he really is on the way to recovery. I think David was grateful we asked.....the last few days, with the baby sick, have proved a bit frightening for him, I think. That does not surprise me at all - it WAS frightening, and I speak as one having gone through it myself, with my own kids. I'm still poking that thermometer in his ear, though, just to be sure to be sure :).

Rebeckah. Having missed school all of last week, she has homeworks to catch up on. Fine! But read FIVE books in one night?? Anyone who has done reading homeworks with young kiddies knows the stress that induces! We had to take turns at it, Nell, me, and Dr Stu, later. This is while juggling Daniel and Thomas! The dinner tonight was of the variety 'what have we got we can chuck in a pot quick' . No one had TIME to think of anything elaborate.

David. Things are getting confusing on that front. He had a letter from the Coroners Office telling us that the Coroner now had all the relevant information to hand (about time, in my opinion) and offering us the choice of accepting a verdict from the Coroner or opting for a public inquest. This choice is apparently a new thing, a consequence of the European Charter entitling everyone to the right to privacy. Well, simple, on the face of it, not so simple when you look into it. I have to state a few things here that are 'complicators'.

(1) The Health Authorities are engaged in a drive to shut down the local maternity unit (in a town of about 300,000 people - are they mad?) in an effort to save money by (that awful word) synergies. IE...Belfast, only 10 miles away, should be the place to deal. Absolute bloody rubbish!

(2) As a result of Jude's death, the Health Authority launched an INTERNAL enquiry to determine if any of THEIR procedures had a bearing, and invited the family to contribute. Which I did, at length, and with much bitterness. That enquiry was supposed to report by mid August, and so far we have heard nothing (but thats being followed up in light of the letter from the Coroners Office).

(3) The question now arises...has the Health Authority delayed the results of their enquiry until after the Coroner has delivered a verdict? If yes, the Coroner is not in possession of all the facts. The Health Authority would be on shakey ground if the results of their internal enquiry gave credence to the very voluble 'anti-closure' lobby, if it showed, for instance, that the maternity service had been deliberately run down and starved of money. If that was the case, then they might be shown to have some culpability in Jude's death.

Its all very much up in the air at the moment, while I write stiff formal letters asking for explanations. I certainly do not want to answer the Coroner's Office request as to what we want to do until I am sure of my ground. But even THAT is a bit of a formality also. By law, Coroners can only deliver something like 10 or 11 verdicts, and no matter what kind of spin you put on it, the only possible verdict is 'suicide'. That can be qualified by phrases like 'while the balance of mind was disturbed' etc. But this all has ENORMOUS impact on how things get sorted out legally, like life insurance, mortgage, things like that. The consensus in the family is there really is no need for a public inquest (and that includes Jude's mother, Mertie), where all the details are laid out for the delectation of newspapers who need to fill column-inches. But again, there is the niggling doubt if the Coroner has all the facts. We shall see.

Friday 7th November 2008

continued.........


Well....there was a small panic there. Joanne arrived with the requested thermometer thing from Dr Stu. One of those 'in ear' things that are supposed to be very accurate. Sooo...when you read a temperature of 40.3, things tend to go into overdrive. Poor lil kid was absolutely SOAKED in sweat - even the sheet he was laying on was wet. So there followed frantic phone calls to Dr Stu, followed by a swift trip to Tesco's to buy some Nurofen. We'd been giving him Calpol, but according to Dr Stu its ok to give him Nurofen in between the Calpol doses. Amazing....his temperature dropped within 10 minutes, and he even LOOKED happier! He's still knackered, though. But....he's back in bed and apparently feeling a LOT more comfortable. It's handy, having a doctor in the family :).

His cot is in the back bedroom.......I fancy that tonight there will be only one person in MY bed....I can't see Nell being more than 6 feet away from him tonight. Thats fine - she's more at ease being at hand. That Nurofen is magic....it works on two people at once :).

People, in older days, used to talk about 'fevers' reaching 'crisis' point. Well, I think today was Thomas's crisis. I would not mind betting that tomorrow, he'll still have the cough, and still have the chesty 'hustle'.....and he'll be as right as rain :) . Nevertheless, I'll be checking his temp as and when. Nothing wrong with belts and braces.


OK...moving on. Saw a little story on TV news tonight. Apparently a guy out flying his plane had a stroke in mid-air and was blinded. Called for help (obviously!). And who steps in?....the RAF. They had a guy fly alongside him directing him right into a landing. Which was successful. Great little end-of-news-cheer-everyone-up story....tada!

Only, kids....I was so PROUD of those guys. Sure, I know, I am 50 years removed from all of that now. But once I was a part of it, and once in, never out. It never mattered what service you belonged to, when the chips were down, you were FAMILY. You were probably all too young to remember in detail the Falklands thing.....but you might remember that your dad INSISTED on keeping the teletext newsflash thing on screen. You, in all likelihood, never saw the tears when HMS Sheffield got hit, and equally you never saw the tears for the Welsh regiment, or those for that never to be forgotten moment when some unknown Major, operating a radio, turned to the camera and said 'They've surrendered - bloody MARVELLOUS!'. Its like I said........once in, never out. We Brits do 'esprit de corps' quite well :).

Well, for a day that started out not the best, things have sorta ended up much much better. I really don't got a lot to complain about, do I ?

Friday 7th November 2008

Well now!! A mixed kind of day. The wee man is poorly - very poorly. Probably just a cold, but running a fearsome temperature, very flushed, and DEFINITELY feeling very sorry for himself. Maybe also complicated by more teeth coming, also. He's had to be nursed all day, and has been drifting in and out of sleep all day. Also, he's obviously much more comfortable when Nell is nursing him rather than me. I put this down to the fact that I don't have boobs. . Actually, while that might seem sexist and blah blah blah, its something I've noted before - babies actually do prefer a soft cushion.

Hold it....short break here for a medical emergency

Tuesday 4th November 2008

Another stressful day :(. I am not handling this kiddie stuff too well - I lost my temper with Daniel. Plus, I am heartily sick of the Cartoon Network blaring out of the tv ALL DAY. I might plead some justification here, ie, Joanne's kids are wild animals, I got pain distractions, just...things ain't GOING right. I'll be better when I get some sleep.

No Thomas today....his other grandma had him for the day. While *I* welcome the minor break, Nell is now stressed out BECAUSE of the break. Probably because she's the 'default' mum, and missing him.

On a brighter note, I finally got some little videos of Thomas down to a manageable size. Not a world shaking event, I know......but some time in the future, those little vids might mean something to someone. Odd thought, that MY generation is probably the first that has the ability to present stuff like that to downstream. I mean, its been available to wealthy folk who could afford Super-8 movie camera's for a long while, but I would guess they is in a minority. No...my generation is the first that has the opportunity of presenting glimpses into the past for future generations. I guess Thomas is going to be real embarrassed sometime in the future :).

Rebeckah has a bad cold, and BOY is she like her mum!! Worst patient ever!! Demands constant attention (she does not get it!) and really gets up everyone's nose. Daniel does the same, but he does it both in good health and when ill. I have NO idea how he keeps going as long as he does. In fact, the only time he is STILL is when I am cooking - he likes to sit on the worktop beside me as I do the prep stuff. Well, when I say 'still' I mean physically.........his mouth never stops. He's got a new word (which I guess EVERY adult knows about)...........'WHY???'. God, he'd drive you insane with those constant 'why's'. And somehow, adults seem pre-programmed to have to ANSWER a 'why', even if the answer is total bloody nonsense....you just have to ANSWER.

I finally accepted the inevitable and cleared the tomato plants out of the greenhouse today. Those bloody things were NEVER going to ripen, now. A pretty fair crop it would have been, too. So...I have them all packed in a box (dark) and currently sitting in the hotpress. Those that know tell me they will ripen eventually in the warmth. I'll believe that when I see it :). However, I have a fondness for FRIED tomatoes, and I am elsewhere informed that fried GREEN tomatoes are pretty good. That also shall be put to the test

Kids...

I hope you manage to keep reading. Its not real exciting stuff, is it?..... but its day to day stuff that we have to deal with. And, if I go with statistics, I'll be shucking off this mortal coil long before your mum does. So pay attention, huh?..... ease her burden.

Saturday 1st November 2008

Feeling a bit down, today. Always David! (and Thomas!). Please God? can I have an extra lease on life so I can watch over them? Or maybe you could send a little bit of luck his way, for a change?

When Thomas is here, I look at him, laying there in the cot. It takes me back years, to the first time we brought David home from hospital. Its exactly the same feeling. (Only David had breathing difficulties - silly little sod never tried breathing through his mouth - I must have had more near heart-attacks in the first week he was home than any cardiac unit). Ah, Judith, he's such a LOVELY little boy. Why didn't you talk to us. Why didn't you just hold on a little longer. Why didn't we open our stupid mouths! You'd be proud of him, luv - you really would. He sleeps all night, grins all day, and copes with everything this madhouse of a home throws at him without even blinking.

Life can be real cruel :(

Accckk!!

Beautiful day, today, but COLD! Had the whole family here, as usual. And as usual TOTAL bedlam. Things getting broken, kids into EVERYTHING. I need eyes in the back of my head! One bright spot - Kate, who previously had been 'strange' (meaning distrustful of faces she did not see every day) has finally decided I am one of the good guys. She insisted on holding my hand, or on being lifted by me. Its quite flattering :) The down side is.....Daniel is almost schizophrenic about it. If I go near Thomas, or now Kate, he's THERE, demanding attention. Kids....who'd want them, who'd want to be without them?

Another good thing - Nell baked some more apple pies. Well, you just KNOW they disappeared in double quick time. Only **I** made sure I got my share, this time What a pity halloween only comes around once a year! Thats a bit unfair really.....takes time to do baking like that, and when you are being the stand-in Mum, you don't have the TIME.

So here I am, on a saturday night.....bored to a wrinkle! TV is crap, as usual, and the people I talk to online are.....not online . I need another hobby! (or work?). Maybe I'll go watch some of the stuff I have recorded, just to clear that hard disk. Its getting a bit full :) Watched 'MAN ON FIRE' (which I had recorded) last night - excellent movie. If a bit on the long side :)


I got this collar thing for one of the dogs. Its supposed to stop them barking, which was a problem since my milkman arrives in the middle of the night! The idea is, it sounds a tone at the first bark, then gives the dog a little jolt if the barking continues. Well, I was both dubious and sceptical. Dubious because I just CANNOT be unkind to dogs....and sceptical as to whether it actually worked. Still, I had to do something. My next door neighbour went so far as to mention to me that she heard the dogs barking in the middle of the night. Ha!....she should be in HERE! SO!....on went the collar. First day?...nada, zilch. I had it too loose or his fur is too thick or something. Tightened the collar a little bit....and to my amazement it seems to work!! Patches barks once....hears the warning tone, and subsides. I just KNOW he hates me . Once he gets the idea firmly embedded, the collar moves to Mo.....


I really DO talk a lot of shit here, don't I? Drivel, really. Hey kids, when you read this, consider whats going on in the background, right? Baring your soul really is not that easy, so learn to read between lines, ok? I love you all, each and every one - as well as the progeny from hell that you have all spawned

(I didn't really mean that last ).

30th October 2008 3.00am

What am I doing up at this time of the morning?.......don't even ask :(

Wandered around the internet, some. Spoke to an old friend, looked at some web sites, but not very much, really. Its just that I can't sleep with the neck/arm thing. Keeps me awake.

Acckk!!......this is not the time

Wednesday 29th October 2008 5.00pm

Another dank, dark, cold, wet, thoroughly miserable day. Everyone trapped in the house because of the weather. Who on earth would voluntarily live in this beknighted country?? When I was in the RAF, and getting around, seeing the world, all I could think of then was how nice it would be to be at home. I must have been MAD!! I have discovered I have a lot of sympathy with those folk who take themselves off to Spain for the winter months. I mean, my heating bill alone would probably cover the cost of three months in Spain. Pity that most of Spain is inhabited by Spaniards, with the leftover bit inhabited by rude Brits and towel wielding Germans (I've been right off Spaniards ever since I got burgled while on holiday, and more or less got the bums rush from the Spanish police - I've not been back since)

Continued on with the 'backup' thing for Joanne. I have just about finished that, now. She'll call on her way home from work to collect the kids, and her computer. Everyone KNOWS about the importance of backups, but very few people actually do it. Now I know why - its the most boring job in the world :)

Nell has been busy churning out apple pies. She really DOES make the most delicious ones. One of the kids just has to ask her to bake one, and its like watching a gun-dog take off after a kill. So far, David has had two (one of which he took into work and passed off as 'all his own work'), Simon has had one, and Joanne - well, Joanne is so taken with them that she's actually attempting her own. More word on that after Dr Stu has his stomach pumped out Funny though....its always this time of year when this apple pie baking urge sets in. Its the hallowe'en thing, I suppose. I know I can ask for apple pies most of the rest of the year and I might as well be whistling up an alleyway :)

Time to go check on my Pork Roast..........more later if the notion takes me :)

Tuesday 28th October 2008

A cold COLD day. Probably the first real blast of winter we've had. I hate winter. I hate the mess and being uncomfortable and sliding on my ass and having dogs mucked up to the eyebrows and BLEAK BLEAK BLEAK. Roll on spring, with its promises!

Managed to get the greenhouse back together today (with help from Simon). Whats IN the greenhouse, though, I have just about given up on. Those tomatoes are never gonna ripen now. Only thing left to try is to pick the decent green ones, then put them in a warm place to see if they will ripen. Such a pity that I got the greenhouse so late in the season, and also that I got such neglected plants from Joanne. It OFFENDS me that nothing came of it all. Well, not all...I still got my herbs (which I have been using liberally in cooking). So, my plan of action now is....get all the bushy plants out of there (like the tomatoes), and wash down in preparation for hunkering down for the winter. I have miniature daffodils that I intend to put in planters ready for the spring (and they should be in there before Christmas, I am informed), plus some other little flower things. Its a steep learning curve, this green finger stuff :)

Joanne arrived this morning on her way to work - with her computer under her arm, and would I please spend a few minutes backing up all her photography work? So I had a look. OH MY GOD!..........there was over thirteen THOUSAND pictures on there, taking up well over 20 gig. And no structure that *I* could discern. They were scattered all over the hard drive! I borrowed David's external DVD burner, and bought a pack of the correct DVD's, and started. Needless to say, between dealing with kids, thats been an all day thing....and I am still not sure if I have identified all that should be kept :) Still...it all keeps the brain active :)

Haven't seen David or Thomas today....Mertie had Thomas. Even with Simon arriving with Kate (Megan and Tara being at school), and Daniel (and later Rebeckah), we BOTH felt at a little bit of a loose end. I need an attitude adjustment

Evenings are a bit of a funny time for me. Usually, TV is crap.....I find very little on there to interest me. Which leaves the computer or the dogs, and walking dogs is NOT exactly a whole evening thing :) So its computer....either talking to people or fiddling. Only...the folk I talk to are either here, and watching TV, or in America and still at work. Weird, me :) I expect the divorce papers to be served on me anyday now

aacckk...enough for now...more later if anything occurs...

Thursday 23rd October 2008

Worn out! Who can remember that 2 yr olds TALKED so much!! He never shut up ALL BLOODY DAY. He also has discovered that adults are practically incapable of ignoring the word 'WHY?' Its a bit like the chinese water torture....drip, drip, drip :)

Thomas, well, he's got a cold. Pretty bad one too. Snot everywhere . And you just KNOW that everyone else has caught it from him. David is pretty bad - bad enough to ask if he could stay here tonight. He's my son....he needs to ask??? Both Nell and I have it too, though not as badly as those two.

(note to self.....its bad grammar to start a sentence with a conjunction, and I just did, up there - little blast from the past )

We also have Nathan, the criminal, staying tonight (and all next week probably). He's off school tomorrow (friday) for some teacher day thing, and he's off all next week because of the Halloween break. So tonight we have a full house, David, Thomas, and Nathan. (Odd?.... I don't remember getting so much time off school for Halloween?). Maybe the memory is going with the onset of dementia :)


Absolutely TERRIBLE day, weatherwise. Howling gale and pissing rain. One of the roof panels of the greenhouse blew off, flew over the house, and ended in the front garden. I suppose I was lucky it was still in one piece, and made of plastic rather than glass. However, a little aluminium strip that helped to hold it in place has disappeared completely. When it calms down a bit, a more exhaustive search is called for, though its likely its in Donegall by now :) The dogs, of course, are by now into giving me reproachful looks as if to say 'why haven't we been out much today?' Well SORRY, dogs, but only an idiot would venture out on such a day!!!

Hmm...what else? Elaine managed to screw up her desktop, and at the same time STEP on the screen of the laptop. Both ended up here. I am getting ruthless in my old age....wiped the desktop and reinstalled (and to hell with trying to save anything first), and done a restore thing on the laptop. Did I mention that she'd been contacted by her ISP to inform her that she was sending out THOUSANDS of emails? THAT caused a bit of a stir So maybe the reinstalls on both computers was not such a bad idea. I should have also asked her why the hell the laptop was laying on the floor, too

Still with Elaine, or more properly Noel. When I 'acquired' the greenhouse from Liz, Noel helped me collect it. Noel being Noel, and a born scavanger, also noted the presence of a garden shed (which also has to go before Liz moves). So now he wants me to contact Liz again to ask about the shed - IE, can he have it. I suppose I better do that, tomorrow. Noel, despite being very rough and ready, is ALWAYS willing to help out when you need help, so its kind of beholden on me to at least make the effort. I always sort of thought that, in those war movies like 'The Great Escape'? - there is always a character designated as 'the scrounger'? Noel would be perfect for the part

Time to post this....if anything further occurs to me, it'll be tacked on :)

Sunday 19th October 2008

Another bog standard, totally chaotic day. Kids and offspring ALL arrive, and bedlam ensues. There was ONE small twist to it. A few months ago, Mark, a lifelong friend of my kids, and his 'live in ' partner were told they had to get out of their house....a redevelopment thing. They had a greenhouse they had to get rid of - and I happened to be the lucky recipient Further...where we once had green fields next to us, locally known as 'the sandies', that area is now all built up with new houses. Now all this building went on at a frantic pace, riding on the crest of the housing wave. Then came the credit crunch, and suddenly no one is buying houses. The company that built the houses were stuck with them. The eventual solution (for them) was to sell the houses to a 'housing association', who let them out. Well, it seems that Mark and Liz (for thats her name) have been allocated one of the unsold houses. So, the person I got the greenhouse from, is now going to be a neighbour just YARDS away :) (she has NO chance of reclaiming the greenhouse ) The twist was....along with the kids piling in on me today, so also we had Mark and Liz - they'd been viewing the house. Its going to get 'interesting' around here, if it wasn't so already. (old chinese curse....'may you live in interesting times' )

Thomas went home with his Dad tonight....for about an hour. He is not a happy bunny tonight. Not sleeping anything LIKE soundly...waking up crying every half hour, etc. The expert (that the woman I live with) has pronounced that its another tooth on the way. Whatever it is, David was beaten by it...he called, asking for assistance. Dealing with a screaming child with no one to turn to for help is a chastening experience. The end result is, that Thomas is back here again.....still disturbed and restless....but at least there are two of us here to take turns with him. I must have gone through all this when MY kids were little, but I don't remember it like it is now, where every little whimper has EVERYONE sitting up!! Perhaps now I have more time (?) now, or maybe just more time to appreciate? When MY kids were that age, we were dividing time between three of them....now its devoted to one.

Nathan....now there's a thing. He spends the weekends with us (since we practically raised him?) and because all his friends are hereabouts. Only he's now 14 years old, and a typical teen, in other words, a real pain in the ass. So saturday night he is out with his friends. He sends me a text asking if someone can pick him up at 11.30pm at his 'girlfriends' place. This, after being told 11pm is the absolute limit. So I reply to the text, stating the time again. HE replies, still asking for 11.30pm. I reply to HIM asking just what about the digits one and one he does not understand. Silence At 11pm, Nell goes to pick him up. And he's REEKING of beer. Well, if it had been me doing the picking up, I'd probbly have killed the lil shit....but to her credit, she gets firm....and drives him straight home to Joanne. Not our problem :) I reckon he'll be grounded for weeks :)


I hope, that when I finally shuck off this mortal coil, he gets to read this. And knows what grief he causes.


enuf

Friday 18th October 2008

Well, technically its saturday, because its just gone midnight. Never mind....the new day don't start for me until I get up in the morning. Nothing much, again, today. Just the usual stuff. We have Thomas again tonight. David going out from work, with friends, and probably that will be the usual drunken 'lad's night out' thing. I have no problem with that - it sorta means he's picking up the threads again, if only in a minor way. A bigger thing is, he has to go to Glasgow for a couple of days early next week for something related to his work. Again, no problem, except that Mertie (the other granny) returns home from another of her expeditions abroad today, and since no one has yet got to speak to her, its very likely that she'd want to see (or keep) Thomas for at least some of that time that David is in Glasgow. So THOSE arrangements are a wee bit up in the air at the moment. Still....she has a right! It'll sort itself out, one way or t'other.

I worry about Nell.......she's driving herself towards an early grave, with all the stuff we take on. There is just no way of telling her to STOP! In addition to the kiddie stuff, my washing machine has been working overtime dealing with stuff she either gets asked to do, or picks up when she goes to Davids. As for ironing and stuff like that?........well, with 3 kiddies around, not much of THAT happens during the day (by EITHER of us), and by evening, we are both indifferent to that pile! I try to help as much as I can, cooking, cleaning, and such......but sometimes that feels like pushing a pea up a mountain with your nose. At the same time, I fully understand the root cause - MONEY! I know I'd hate to be young and trying to buy a house etc etc.....it takes two incomes nowadays just to keep your head above water. Maybe we should all just sell up, pool the money, and buy one big house with lots of rooms, so at least everyone is in the one place. Look at the petrol money we'd all save.

Done some ploughing around on the net, looking into the neck/arm thing. Hopeless!! Everything I found was either far too technical for me and way over my head, or was written by one-fingered typing idiots. Still, I'll have to persist. When I finally DO get the call from the orthopediacs, I want to be armed and ready for them Or maybe I should just move to America - they seem to be right on the ball over there, medically speaking......even if they leave hospital minus the proverbial arm-and-a-leg :)

Haven't talked to my friend Wendy, much, lately. I'll have to do something about that - she's usually pretty well up on medical stuff, and knows the 'system' inside out. Note to self to action that :)

Well, I've just read over what I've written. Awful! There is just no WAY you can avoid trivia! Its as if your fingers get taken over by some obscure part of your head that says 'you started, so finish', like some nightmare version of mastermind. The stuff just keeps appearing in front of you. If any of my descendants ever work their way through this mass of verbiage, I'll be VERY surprised!!

You still paying attention, kids???.........this is my LIFE in front of ya!!........don't you DARE burn it!!


onwards...

Thursday 17th October 2008


Another bog standard day. What can I say? I KNEW this was going to degenerate into a 'Mrs Dale's Diary' thing......despite not wanting it to. Ha!....like the people this is aimed at are going to have the slightest idea what 'Mrs Dale's Diary' actually is (was?)!!!!

Our wonderful NHS came up trumps again. A week ago, I am told that I am now on a 12 week waiting list. So today I get a letter telling me I can expect something to happen in the next 13 weeks. Counting the week that has already passed, I make that 14 weeks. Hands up anyone who believes government statistics Still....I suppose half a loaf is better than no bread!!

Hmmm...lets see...what else? Thomas?....Daniel?....Rebeckah?....just the usual on that front too....this getting old stuff is HARD...........they wear me out. Not helped by the fact that Joanne don't get home from work till gone sometimes 6.30pm. By then, I am whacked. I have no idea where kids get their energy from! And in the spirit that I started this in, as in telling it like it is, I have to confess that by then I am getting REAL grumpy!! Like today, for instance. I have retreated to the roofspace intending to do a little work on computer ( I am working on some little video's and I am not exactly the greatest movie producer in the world ) and Daniel escapes from downstairs and climbs up here. Now, up here, in my little romper room, there is all KINDS of stuff that you would not want a 2 year old anywhere near :) I made the mistake of leaving a piano keyboard out....and he gloms onto that right away. Before I know it, the little demo thing built into it is blasting away at full volume, Daniel is getting all 'hey look at me'..........and a computer gets kicked and falls to the floor. DAMN! Haven't tried hooking it up again to see if it still works, but I fear for it :) Good job it was only one of the spares.


This journal idea....its kind of addictive. I mean once you start rabbiting, its hard to stop :) Even if it IS day to day stuff!


Thomas is back home with David tonight. Why is that bothering me? Its not that David is not a good dad to Thomas.....he's actually very good. Its just that we have had so much to do with Thomas that we is becoming, well, PARENTS. Not good. Very mixed up feelings about this. I have no idea how this is going to pan out. I do know that Thomas is comfortable with us (and with his dad too!), but I have always believed that little kiddies need SETTLED....and being shunted from house to house is NOT settled.

Done some chatting online tonight..... I have some people I talk to (HAVE talked to) for a very long time now. And tonight was nearly all bad news. One having a kidney removed, one with a bereavement, one rushed into hospital, and one diagnosed with MS. And one missing (you know who you are! ) Good nights and bad nights :(


I better shut up now...I'm getting trivial

same time...

ok...I read over what I just posted...and its unsatisfactory. The whole intent of this was to 'leave a legacy'.......not just note down day to day stuff. To let the kids into who their dad/grandad was. I sorta feel I am failing in this. I'd want them to know I am NOT just the person who shouts at them, but that I am (by default) the head of the family, with responsibilites for their welfare, but also that I love them all, each and every one of them. There are times when I wish I had an older brother who would have taken on this role. I don't like it....I don't like being the scary figure.

Tuesday 14th October 2008


Wonderful day.....not! First of all, its all GREY and OVERCAST, but not actually raining. And this being market day in town, naturally Nell has stuff to get (really!...some of this shit is only available at the market!). Soo..the plan is, I drive her down there, drop her and Thomas off, and continue on to the park with Daniel and the dogs..........meeting up again later. RIGHT! I get to the park, get the dogs out of car, get Daniel out, get the bag of bottles out (did i mention that i am a frequent bottle banker? )...........and no sooner have I done all this, but the damn heavens open. It POURS down! Have you ever tried walking two dogs, one kid, and one large umbrella, in the pouring rain? Its not a fun thing to do. Plus...the park is well endowed with chestnut trees, and Daniel is INTO hunting chestnuts (even though games with chestnuts is beyond him.......its the discovery thing). So there we are....rain POURING down, me trying to keep a 2 yr old dry, while at the same time pandering to him hunting chestnuts........you just HAVE to know we were the only people in the damn park, because everyone else with sense departed for home STAT!

It had a good side though.......he just about passed out when we got home (for his nap). I love his naps

Dinner.........

Dinner was beef curry, in the slow cooker (God, that thing is marvellous!). While Daniel is napping, I get it all going. Takes a while, and while I SORTA follow the recipes I find on the internet, I kinda extemporise a bit ). Usual afternoon ...fetch Rebeckah from school....entertain Thomas and Daniel once he wakes up....collect Nathan once HE gets home from school....collect David once he gets home from work (home being the train station )

And NOW its time to take the dogs out. So I do. Only thing is, while I am out walking dogs, those two hungry hounds, David and Nathan, are having dinner..........MY dinner!! Now bear with me here....there is 2lbs of meat in that bloody slow cooker..........enough to feed 4 over two days, right? I get home from walking dogs.........to discover they have eaten...........as in eaten just about everything!! How did I ever manage to raise people with hollow legs??? When *I* finally get MY curry....its nothing but plain rice and sauce....of meat there was very little sign :) I really GOTTA put my rates up

Moving on...and continuing with the 'leave a legacy' thing... I have been taping Thomas in little short episodes all through his (short) life. So now its time to start transferring to disk. RIGHT! Only senility is setting in.......I gotta learn all over again how to DO that. (my vid cam is old and analogue....needs capture to disk then converting to digital for consumption) Parallel to this, and talking to David, we have a kinda solution. David has a web site, with oodles of room. I (shortly) will have vids of his son. Sooo........the idea is to upload the vids to his site so that anyone can get them (sure, there's gonna be a stampede to get them )

OK...so tis a pointless little exercise...but it serves two purposes. It keeps my brain busy and active...and it creates a record. Who knows...when Thomas comes of age, he can be as embarrassed as hell :)

Which all glosses over Thomas's presence, and how special he is to us, and how much time we devote to him. Really, we are surrogate parents. Not through choice, but through circumstances. Nell has taken to the role like a duck to water, and I'd be blind not to see how those two have bonded. We have a saying here, for babies who like the comfort zone, that they are 'strange'....meaning the child is not HAPPY with things (or faces) that are not familiar. I guess everyone who has dealt with children knows just what I mean. Ya lift them, yer not on the recognised list, BAWWWWWLLLLL. Well...he don't bawl much in this house.....which I guess means he even recognises MY ugly mug and feels safe :)

I look at him........

...and how can ya weep and smile at the same time?

He's such a GOOD little boy....he's almost the blueprint of how you expect kiddies to behave. He eats...he naps...he smiles in his own little world...hell, he even experiments with the one single tooth he's managed to get so far :)

I love him to bits. Him and me do a LOTTA male bonding :)

Daniel, now....well, I got a problem. Because Daniel is exhibiting JEALOUS big time. I pick up Thomas....Daniel is right there. I talk to Thomas...Daniel is right there. I go to entertain Thomas ...Daniel is right there. How do you explain to a 2 yr old that he is loved just as much?

OK...this is NOT stuff you can explain real well, and I ain't good at explaining anyway........

such is life

Monday 13th October 2008

Time for an entry.

Had a fright yesterday, when all the kids were here. Megan and Rebeckah were outside next the house playing, Daniel was overtired and being a royal pain in the ass, Thomas was asleep, Tara was busy breaking something, and Kate was muttering away to herself in babyese. Simon was watching some sports thing on tv, David was busy in the kitchen (more on that in a moment), Joanne was dozing while waiting on Dr Stu, and Claire was off at Tesco's. Kinda typical sunday. Then we notice that Megan and Rebeckah are no longer visible. So Simon drags himself away from the tv, and goes out to look for them. They are nowhere to be seen. When Simon returns for his CAR keys to drive around looking, suddenly the attention level has escalated. Joanne goes out in HER car, Nell in ours. I get to walk :)

Its not that we live in a big estate.......its actually quite small. So not really a lot of places you can DRIVE to. It is, however, surrounded by a lot of 'green' places. Maybe not so much as it used to be, but still lots of 'kiddie friendly' open space.

After half an hour of mobile phones going red hot and people going hoarse from shouting....the fright level has REALLY escalated. At this point I should maybe mention that all that green 'kiddie places' were used a few years ago when a little girl was abducted and assaulted. (Luckily the police got to the guy before the search parties did, or there would have been a lynching!)

OK, you've got the idea......EVERYONE is going frantic by now. At almost an hour since we first noticed they was gone, the pair of them show up again, as unconcerned as ya like.

Well...those two little girls got LIT upon....by very relieved parents and grandparents. I think we scared the shit outta them :) We still have no idea where they were, because THEY didn't know...but they were covered in mud. However, I think they got the message!! But it was a frightening hour for the grownups.


More on David (as above). Sometimes my number one son can be weird :) He, and a few friends had cooked up (no pun intended) the idea of having a LASAGNE making contest, the judges to be the children of a few of his friends. So he was busy cooking away (with a break, of course, for the search). Now when *I* make lasagne, the red sauce and white sauce jars you get in Tesco's makes perfectly acceptable lasagne (with the addition of extra garlic, worcester sauce...tada!....I wing it ). Not so for David.......he's there beating up eggs, melting cheese, liquidizing this and that......seemed an awful lot of trouble to me :) Anyway......because of the break (for the search) he's short on time. He DOES get it made....and has to rush off right away, leaving the kitchen looking like a bomb site. Its been suggested to him that the NEXT bloody competition he proposes should be a washing up competition :) Took ages to clear up! Turns out there were five entries........3 vegetable and 2 meat lasagnes. He got second place in the meat category (and I've tasted his lasagne......seemed a wee bit bland to me, but thats just me )


More on David. Thomas was with us friday night because David was going out with some friends. All fine and good. Saturday, Nell rings him in the morning.........and he sounds fine! He's busy tidying up, cutting grass too can ya believe. Everything seems good. Come around middle of the afternoon, he rings and asks can we bring Thomas home about 7pm. So, thinking RIGHT!...Thomas gets bathed, fed...and packed up for transport. Off goes Nell with baby. Only....we can't raise David to warn him she is on the way. 15 minutes later she rings me. She has gone into the house, and David is asleep....and she can't get him awake! Now for most people, that would ring alarm bells, but we KNOW our son. He really DOES sleep the sleep of the dead!! So.......Thomas got brought back here. Nell can get quite stroppy where kiddie welfare is involved I should maybe add here that the expectation was that Nell would drop off Thomas, come home, and get geared up to go attend the reception of Dr Stu's sister who had got married that afternoon. And that the reception was 50 miles away. And that I had adamantly refused to go (think 'Mrs Bucket'). That left me with a by now wide awake Thomas, and Nell going into a real fluster trying to get dressed so she could LEAVE. Well....it all worked ok, if maybe a little behind schedule. Thomas, bless his little cotton socks, is a GOOD child. He went to bed no trouble at all. Nell made the reception ok, if late. And David woke up and rang me at about 10pm. I think he realised he'd done a no-no....

Such is life

Still Thursday 9th October 2008

ok......it seems to be working again, though naturally, despite what the email said, no one bothered to actually TELL me this. Never mind.....

Not one of my better days. First my cousin contacts me re her printer. Now, you have to understand that in this life, there are some people who should never be allowed near a computer. SHE is one of them. To say she is stupid is really an insult to the english language. Last time she got into a pickle the quickest way out of it was to get her to hand the phone to her 7 yr old grandson and talk HIM through it. But today was a classic. It goes like this....

(her) you know that little blue light on the printer?
(me) no?
(her) the one right under the other thingy
(me) what other thingy?
(her) the other button that does not light up!
(me) Edna, I don't have the faintest idea what you are talking about....
(her) well, the little blue light is flashing instead of staying on!
(me) WHAT blue light!
(her) (ignoring me totally) ....and it never used to do that before, and now I can't print and I have
something on my screen that won't go away!
(me) whats on screen?
(her) I don't know WHAT it is!
(me) (bowing to the inevitable)..........Edna, i'll come over


So I go there......... Whats on screen is a message that says there is a paper jam in the printer. I take all the paper out, and put it back. Bingo!........warning light stops flashing, and about a million queued prints start to spew out.....all of the same thing. Problem solved..........silly bitch!


Then there's the arm. My arm, that is, not Edna's. I hate to admit it, but this constant pain is wearing me down and making me hell to live with. I've started chewing co-codomol tablets like they was smarties. I AM worried about it, more worried than I care to admit publicly. I've lost touch sensation in my thumb and forefinger now, the arm THROBS all day, and when I try to lift one of the kids, I have noticed not only increased pain, but a certain weakness in that arm. Night-time is a nightmare, trying to find a position to sleep in - and never finding it. So add lack of sleep as a contributory cause of said bad temper :) I just hope those orthopediacs get their finger out and it does NOT turn out to be a 12 week wait. And to be honest, I have my doubts that they can do anything anyway. According to Dr Stu, they are very reluctant to even consider neck surgery.......too little space, too much to go wrong. Still....we live in hope :)

I saw something when I started this venture that you could post pictures on your blog. I was wondering if that includes little video's. I have this idea in the back of my mind of little vids of Thomas at various stages. I already have one of him as a tiny little just-born-ish, but with the advent of what seems to be a tooth, I figger thats a 'life-moment'. Must look into that......when I get time :)

The slow cooker I bought......brilliant!! Only used it the once so far, and I am tickled to death with it :) Recipes seem few and far between, though....mostly american, with strange names (to me). What the hell is 'brisket', or 'chuck steak'? And measurements?.......a cup of this or that?......whats a CUP for heaven's sake!! Still.......I am quite looking forward to experimenting.

So, all in all, not a great day. Gloom and doom about the arm, absolutely CRAP weather, squealing kids, jumpy dogs. People are starting to tip-toe around me, and whisper in other rooms.......or am I getting paranoid

thursday 9th October 2008

this is a test to see if this thing is working

Sunday 5th October 2008

I know I just posted the first one....gimme a break here, I am new to this :)

OK...sunday

Usual mad day........collect Thomas and David (the sooner he gets a car, the better!), then Joanne and kids arrive (Dr Stu was on nightshift last night, so he's in bed), shortly followed by Simon and Claire and their three kids.

I have a hard time keeping quiet about Simon's kids. Simon and Claire are into the 'naughty step' method of bringing them up.........and the result is three wild animals. I've long since lost count of the stuff they break here, and watched while Claire, in a very measured tone, says something like 'Now say sorry to Granda' to the miscreant. Me?.... I am a firm believer in the quick smack to the ass.........ya do it, you get punished, you remember it......end of story. Its kinda hard to hold back and say nothing...but I sure wish I could make them understand that this 'naughty step' crap is going to come back and bite them in the ass when the kids are older.

It gets a bit murky here....bearing in mind what you just read, and keeping in mind that almost by default Thomas is in OUR care, and is likely to be for years to come, do *I* have to subscribe to the 'naughty step'? I don't think so........my house, my rules. After all, I didn't do such a bad job raising my own :)

Odd thought..........when Thomas is 10, I'll be 74. Thats scary :) (and 10 ain't that OLD!) Then there will be all the usual stuff......like starting school, homeworks, driving here and there...

Oh...and watching Nell, my wife, that EARTH mother, coping like a trooper, and collecting grey hairs and wrinkles like they was going out of fashion. In truth, I am not a GREAT help here...but only because I'd need 10 elbows to get a look in.

I do a BIT, though.... I cook, I iron (when I need a shirt ), I drive, I entertain, I distract, I cajole, wheedle, bully....the usual things that comes from looking after kids :) I long ago got resigned to being the villian of the piece :)

What else of note today? Not a lot...........except I bought myself a Slow Cooker. We have an electric cooker here, and that bloody thing does NOT understand the meaning of 'simmer'. So I have expectations of solving that problem :)

Tomorrow (evening) I meet up with a very old friend (schoolfriend) who long ago emigrated to Australia. I feel very awkward over aspects of this. I mean, the guy only came halfway around the world...and yet just picking him up causes logistic problems, and having him stay in a guest house is quite shaming because on the surface there is only two of us in a three bedroom house......but ya have to look deeper :) Whatever...tomorrow evening is a 'lads night'...

So thats been MY sunday......I know its just been a relate of events. There is probably ALL kinds of undercurrents inside me I should have been writing about, but bear with me, kidlings....I am new at this :)

And so to bed...

its a BLOG ya stupid bot

Saturday, 4th October 2008


A few nights ago, talking online with a good friend, I expressed the thought that keeping a diary would be a good thing, to let my grandkids (or even my kids!) know, or have a little insight to who I was, and how life dealt with me (or me, it). Now, a diary implies daily entries, and most of the time those daily entries would be so BORING, so I decided instead on a kind of ad-hoc journal. This is it, it starts here.


I am on the verge of being 64, which is a TERRIBLE age to be . I have been married to the same woman (Nell) for 37 years, and I have three children. Number one son, David, born in 1973, and twin boy an girl, Simon and Joanne, born 15 months later.

The kids are all grown up now, and moved into their own lives, only somebody forgot to tell ME that…no matter how old they get, I still worry about them like they was still little kids.

Simon is married to Claire, and they have three daughters. Joanne is married to Stewart, and Joanne has a son by a previous relationship, and a son and a daughter with Stewart.

I guess that’s the bare facts of my life…my family, my world.

I could go on and on about my youth and what I did, then, but I won’t. That will come out in bits and pieces as this goes on. This journal is more intended to commence from today and go forward. Looking back nearly always leads to regret, and that’s a futile occupation, since its always too late to change anything.

Though there HAS to be some looking back into the recent past, to an event that has changed our lives forever.

My number one son, David’s wife took her own life just two weeks after giving birth to their son, Thomas. I doubt that any of us here will ever get over the shock of that. Even now, some 5 months after the event, it still haunts me. How my son copes is beyond my understanding. Judith was such a LOVELY down to earth person. A geology graduate, who thought nothing of taking of to Arabia on a dig, or taking a job in Greece teaching English, or spending months laying in the mud here in Ireland just digging. Plus…she was forever having a little smiley dig at me because I like my wine

Whatever, things happened as they did, and Judith left us, but left us also a legacy who is now just about the centre of everyone’s lives.

So, nowadays, life starts with Thomas ….

That’s not to say that the others get left out….every day there is Rebeckah and Daniel her brother, to say nothing of Nathan, also their brother.

As I see things now, the priorites are to make sure Thomas is cared for in a loving environment while also trying to help David….not always an easy thing to do, because David has always been the short-tempered, go-my-own-way, private person. Still, we progress ?

All this so far is by way of bringing you, gentle reader, up to date…I would guess that entries downstream will be a bit….everyday ?

Note to self….google ‘how to start a blog’

Note to self….how to keep this permanent and out of sight till the time comes ?

Note to self…. Thank Wendy for helping to coalesce vague thoughts

Note to self….don’t wallow in self pity, pour another drink ?