Sunday 1st March 2009

Seems the periods between postings is getting longer and longer! Time to rabbit some more.

Last Friday, we finally got to the tree planting. Jude's sister Karen flew over from England to be here for it. I was getting real down just thinking about it in the run-up, because I thought it could turn out to be a depressing occasion, dredging up old memories and hurts. Simon dealt with collecting her ashes, and Joanne dealt with getting the tree and organising the forestry people to be there to actually plant it. I have to say, I was very impressed by the way the forestry guy dealt with it all - he was kind, respectful, and sympathetic. I've written a letter thanking him for the way he conducted it (bearing in mind that he's a forestry worker and not a gravedigger, and he looks after 3000 acres of trees!). The one really odd note was that Jude's mother wasn't there. Now I know it had to be an emotional time for her too, but she has known about this for weeks, yet she managed to have a 'vital' appointment 80 miles away. I thought that was peculiar. However, diffrent strokes for diffrent folks. I have to add my OWN peculiarity here (about which I was cross-examined by my irreverant No 2 son ). My usual, and preferred, form of dress these days is jeans and sweater - I spent too many years conforming to 'dress codes', and I feel comfortable with what I wear. However, this whole event was to me something of a funeral,and a bit of respect was called for. As such, I felt it fitting to at least dress up a bit...nothing elaborate like a suit, but at least trousers and collar and tie. So of COURSE everyone else turned up in jeans!!

Soo....all proceeded according to plan. The tree was planted, the ashes were scattered, and all in a quiet manner, yet not 'stiff and formal' Then, because we planned on a lunch in a nearby restaurant and it was yet early, we all went for a stroll. The whole atmosphere was relaxed, for which I am mightily glad. Now that those last bits are taken care of, maybe there will be some closure, though there is one step yet to be taken that no one has had the courage to broach yet - the subject of Jude's clothes, which are all still hanging in wardrobes and packed in drawers. Still, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.