same time...

ok...I read over what I just posted...and its unsatisfactory. The whole intent of this was to 'leave a legacy'.......not just note down day to day stuff. To let the kids into who their dad/grandad was. I sorta feel I am failing in this. I'd want them to know I am NOT just the person who shouts at them, but that I am (by default) the head of the family, with responsibilites for their welfare, but also that I love them all, each and every one of them. There are times when I wish I had an older brother who would have taken on this role. I don't like it....I don't like being the scary figure.